my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
