and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
