All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize