i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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