your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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