It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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