i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
