wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
