Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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