I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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