college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
