Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
