just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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