If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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