These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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