How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
