he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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