Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
kristin has been a bad kristin
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
