The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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