wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize