sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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