Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
