Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?

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(702): View more from Nevada

i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"

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(705): View more from Ontario

i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole

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(616): View more from Michigan

Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.

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(925): View more from California

Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'

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(250): View more from British Columbia

is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?

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(773): View more from Illinois

No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.

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