he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
