Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
How does it feel to date your dad?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
