we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
