sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
