I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
