i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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