I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
