Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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