so that wasnt chicken after all
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
im holly from the hills drunk
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
