I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
