I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
