We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The feeling are messing with the penis
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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