How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
