Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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