come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
