Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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