Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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