Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
