I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
