What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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