im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
