I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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