can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i've created a new STD.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
