wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm too high and old for this...
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