Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
