i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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