it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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