Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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