I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
