somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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