i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
