doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
