I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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