I'd wear matching sweaters with you
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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