my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
vagina is talking i cant
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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