So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
